I crushed cool ranch dorritos,

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem) 11/27/2013 at 09:57 • Filed to: None

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27

coated chicken breast with them, and baked them.

It was not very good. You couldn't even taste the ranch. It tasted like I had just rolled them in corn meal or something.

No, I was not high or drunk when I thought up this idea.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 09:59

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Next time use Nacho Cheese or those habanero ones.

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:00

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Been watching Broke Eats again?

CalzoneGolem > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 11/27/2013 at 10:05

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Do you speak from experience here, because I feel like the same thing will happen.

CalzoneGolem > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole 11/27/2013 at 10:06

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Nope I came up with it independently of that.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:11

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Cool Ranch has its strongest bite from lactic acid present. That will dissipate to an extent, I would think, and just react with the chicken (i.e. tenderize the top layer) with a minimal afterward effect. Outside the Ranch/sour cream bite, Cool Ranch Doritos are rather bland. Nacho Cheese would at least have more spices and has cheese content that would remain on the surface (think breaded chicken parmesan - maybe).

Habanero would leave enough spice for sure.

In either case, you might also want to mix in a binder to make it act like a better breading.

CalzoneGolem > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 11/27/2013 at 10:13

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O_o

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:17

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anonsagainstanonymous > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:18

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Awww. Too bad. Maybe try the cheesy ones next time?

Ian Duer (320b) > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:21

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If you can find a store that carries restaurant supplies they will probably carry "ranch powder" which is the sort of thing those soft pretzel stands use to make ranch flavored pretzels. Adding some of that will probably help get the effect you were looking for.

CalzoneGolem > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 11/27/2013 at 10:22

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Yeah, I can't resist now. I've got spicy nacho ones at home right now ....

CalzoneGolem > Ian Duer (320b) 11/27/2013 at 10:23

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Good point. We actually have some in the house.

CalzoneGolem > anonsagainstanonymous 11/27/2013 at 10:24

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It is really the only logical thing to do now. Maybe buy a bunch of little flavor bags and do a big comparo.

anonsagainstanonymous > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:32

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Yessssss!!! I am looking forward to hearing about this. I live and breathe for breaded chicken.

Ian Duer (320b) > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:33

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Never thought of those packets. It probably IS the same stuff.

CalzoneGolem > anonsagainstanonymous 11/27/2013 at 10:36

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Well, I'll be sure to post it if/when it happens.

Nibbles > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:37

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Just go out and buy a tub of Hidden Valley Ranch powder

It has, like, a billion uses

CalzoneGolem > Nibbles 11/27/2013 at 10:41

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A billion? Name 27.

Nibbles > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:51

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Ranch dip

Ranch dressing

Ranch chicken

Cheddar ranch chicken

Cheddar bacon ranch chicken

Superglue

Ranch mashed potatoes

Cheddar ranch mashed potatoes

Cheddar bacon ranch mashed potatoes

Four cheese ranch mashed potatoes

Industrial solvent

Ranch Chex Mix

Buttery Ranch Roast Turkey

Ranch Cheddar Bay Biscuits

Ranch fried chicken

Ranch baked chicken

Septic tank treatment

Ranch style beans with ranch

Hickory smoked ranch ribs

Hickory smoked ranch burgers

Hickory smoked cheddar jalapeno ranch burgers

Ranch baked beans

Ranch steak tips

Ranch sirloin

Ranch [any poor cut of meat because it tenderizes and makes it palatable]

Cat tracking system

basically, if it goes well with cheese, bacon, or any combination of the two, ranch fits in well

CalzoneGolem > Nibbles 11/27/2013 at 10:55

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That's only 26 :-|

Nibbles > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 10:56

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I counted the Ranch + any poor cut of meat as multiple examples because I can

CalzoneGolem > Nibbles 11/27/2013 at 10:58

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Nibbles > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 11:02

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AtomicTree > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 12:26

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This disappoints the hell out of me. I normally crush up Ritz crackers, add some bread crumbs of some sort, some random chicken seasoning and parmesan cheese to the mix. But every single damn time I think how great it would be to use Doritos instead of Ritz....but my health-nazi wife will have none of it.

I guess this post both crushes my dreams and alleviates my curiosity at the same time....

CalzoneGolem > AtomicTree 11/27/2013 at 12:29

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The jury is still out on the other flavors.

AtomicTree > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 12:45

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Ahhh OK....I will hold out for hope, purchase a bag of Spicy Chili Cheese, hide it in my gun safe and wait for my wife to go out of town. My day has been brightened!

Dusty Ventures > CalzoneGolem 11/27/2013 at 22:56

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Back when Lays was doing their "new flavor" contest I had a chicken recipe using the sriracha chips. Melt a tablespoon of butter, add sriracha and any other desired spices, coat chicken in butter mix, roll in sriracha chips, bake. SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOD! Makes me sad those damn garlic cheese chips won

CalzoneGolem > Dusty Ventures 11/28/2013 at 08:05

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This has made me sad because I never did it and now those chips are gone. They were the best ones.